I’m a guy. I don’t ask for directions. So it took me 20 minutes flipping through the new Facebook privacy settings looking for some way to turn off the infinitely annoying “Recent Activity” updates before I finally looked for help.

That’s when I found this.

Information About Recent Activity

Whether we display a story on your profile is now controlled by the privacy of the content itself, rather than an additional setting.  For example, only people who can see both your Wall, and the Wall to which you posted would be able to see a story about you writing on a friend’s Wall.  You cannot completely turn off recent activity stories anymore.  However, if you want to remove a particular story that currently shows up, simply click the “Remove” button that appears to the right of the story after you move your mouse over it.  Provide feedback about this change here.

So how do you turn off recent activity on Facebook? You cannot completely disable recent activity stories anymore.  This leaves you three options.

1. Constantly Monitor Your Wall to Remove Activity
Well shoot, you spend approximately 47% of your work hours on Facebook anyhow.  But I’m guessing you MIGHT have something better do.

2. Neuter Your Facebook
Turn off your wall.  It’s not a horrible idea and, in fact, you may find yourself mainly interacting with people you actually care to interact with.  Hell, you might even e-mail them, pick up the phone, or *GASP* meet up with them to see how they’re doing.  But let’s face it.  The whole point of Facebook is mutual stalking (damn, you’re creepy).  This option just plain sucks.

3. Bitch and Moan
Now we’re talking.  The most amusing part of the excerpt above is the last line.  Facebook already knows you hate not being able to turn off your recent activity.  So go to The Privacy Suggestion Page and tell them you want to be able to turn your recent activity off. They won’t be surprised.